Sunday IV

This is a departure from my recent posts on church going.

A very recent experience has left me troubled in my mind, in my heart and in my spirit. My mind holds on to the thing that was done to me, the memory of it. I'm certain the enemy seeks to stir that as often as possible, to keep me stewing in it. My heart bears the hurt, like a fresh wound, painful, sore to the touch. In typical human nature, I don't leave alone to heal, but pick and pull at the scab, inspecting it deeply. It can do nothing less than leave a huge scar.

It is the residual effects in my spirit that I wrestle with the most. This whole situation has called upon me to measure my Christianity. Many of the standards I hold up are false measures. They are traditions, long-held beliefs and religious pillars in my life. Much like testing the earthquake-readiness of a building, my foundations have taken some shaking. Cracks have been opened, weaknesses revealed.

Here's the thing: people will hurt you. I've known this much of my life. It rarely affected me like it has in this situation, but I can look back and see a few times when God has shaken my foundations to test me. You should know something about me - I am the eternal optimist.

My mother told me this story when I was growing up, about two little girls. One was a pessimist, the other an incurable optimist. The parents wanted to help the girls see things with more balance. So they showered the pessimist with grand gifts, hoping to improve her outlook on life. Of the new bike, she proclaimed it would only make her fall down and scrape herself. Of the grand new dolly, she said it would be broken and dirty with use. Nothing they gave her ever met with her approval. The other girl could find no wrong in any gift. So, they gave her a sack full of horse manure. She squealed with joy and ran through the house, laughing all the while. She opened closet doors, peeked under all the beds, become more and more excited. Finally, her parents stopped her to ask, "what are you so excited about, child?" She replied, "With all this manure, there must be a pony around here somewhere!"

That was me. I saw only the good in any situation. This is not a bad trait to have. I have certainly given grace where others might not have. In this case, though, I feel I might have had blinders over my rose-colored glasses. I opened my home to a family in need. That is what I saw - actually, I didn't even see that until they arrived. I truly opened my heart to them because I saw an opportunity to heal relationships. Perhaps I was even guilty of meddling.

Now, As I look back on the whole experience, I still struggle to see all of the pieces of God's plan through the haze of pain and disillusionment. These people took advantage of me. They lied to me, and then they stole from me. I responded in anger, but I also followed my husband's lead, as we sternly invited these offenders to leave our home and not return.

Now I have to return to the wound, examine it and find it's root cause, and discover if it will heal as it should, or if perhaps there is something festering deep down that must be rooted out. What I fear is a residual pain that will hold me back from helping the next person in need. It is in my nature to trust, and to give. That leaves me wide open to being taken advantage of. This is most certainly a large part of why I am with the husband I have. He, being the polar opposite of me, wields far more wisdom and caution than I.

I will have to continue this post in a day or so, as I ferret out all the causes and effects this situation has put upon me as a Christian. I saw this as an opportunity to be Jesus to someone who hadn't known Him. Did I fail? Did I plant a seed? I may never know. And I am left examining broken pieces of my heart, asking God why it had to happen. When, or if, I discover more answers, I want to share them with you. Because deep down, I know that I am not alone in this.

Until next time, may God richly bless you in all of His wisdom and love.

Sunday III

A Sunday Religion

My mother wears a T-shirt that says “Religion is hanging around the cross, Christianity is getting on it.” For those of us caught in the trap of the Church as a social club, this should be a wake up call. It’s not wrong that we socialize, or even that we go to church on Sunday for that reason. What’s wrong is that we think church on Sunday IS our Christianity.

As a culture, for as far back as our earliest American roots, we’ve looked to the church for moral guidance, for scriptural instruction and for inspiration. We’ve failed to recognize this simple truth. We are the church. We don’t exist just on Sunday, and neither should our faith.

I have no doubt that we would suffer so much less disenchantment with our church if we embraced this thought. I am the church, every day.  You see, the church is the dwelling place of God. If we leave him in the sanctuary on Sunday, then how much effect can He have in our lives on Monday?

By adjusting our concept of the purpose of the church, we take a huge load of expectation off of our pastors and church leadership. Just as a shepherd leads his flock to food and water, and a pastor is one who leads us to the truth. He cannot hand feed us, nor should he be giving us IV fluids. He can lead us to the right place, but we must shoulder the responsibility to do what needs to be done while we are there.

If you find yourself discontented with your church experience, reevaluate your expectations. Take responsibility for learning and growing in your relationship with Christ. So many people are at a loss as to how to develop this relationship – all I know to say is this: take all the best features of all the people in your life and apply them to this person who is with you at all times. Then magnify that person’s goodness a thousand fold. Here is your constant companion who is the embodiment of love. Then talk to Him, consider Him in your choices, be intentional in your thoughts toward Him. All of this develops this relationship. Listen for Him in your heart, in your thoughts, in your circumstances. Revel in the blessing. An attitude of gratitude makes it so much easier to hear Him.

In all this, you will find that you are the living tabernacle, the daily church. When you join other believers in worship, with the unrealistic expectations lifted, your experience may just be all that God intended it to be.

So, how do you feel about your church?

Sunday II

Another week we didn't go to church. I've decided that this will be a good way to journal about this experience. Why might it be such a big deal to me, personally? How does it impact my family?

First of all, you should know this about me. I was raised in church. My mother was saved when I was a baby, my father accepted Christ during my Dedication ceremony. Other than a few times in our lives when my parents weren't active members somewhere, I spent my entire life in this habit. We went Sunday morning and evening, Wednesday evenings, and occasional weekly Bible studies.

We were generally members of Pentecostal churches, some more radical than others. We tended to go where they were teaching-heavy. As a teenager, I sat under a born-again Jewish charismatic bible scholar. As newlyweds, my husband and I sat under an Old Testament scholar.

To say I have been steeped in Bible teaching would be an understatement. I've been basted, broiled, baked, slow-cooked, hard-boiled and steamed in it. Yet here I am. Not in church. It feels strange, as if I am slipping through some crack in the religious landscape, to discover another foreign world.

I am discovering a simple joy in spending my days and nights considering my Lord. Who is He to me? What is He to me? In being relieved of the pressure to conform to some society's concept of the proper Christian, I have been freed to get to know God, my heavenly Father, Jesus, my Savior and joint-heir in the Kingdom, and the Holy Spirit, my constant all-knowing companion.

This is not where I will be quoting scripture to convince myself of my right or wrong. I know them, and that they apply. It is never sufficient to just know any part of God's Word. Without the wisdom to apply it to my life, it is fruitless. So, in this time of not being in church, we are sitting down to the dining room table each Sunday morning to read and discuss Proverbs. If it's wisdom we need, that's a great place to start.

Eventually, I trust that God will lead us to the right place of fellowship with other believers. In the meantime, I'm going to practice this concept of being the church, where ever I am. Perhaps my sons will come to know God in a more personal, un-religiously-cluttered way through this experience. I do not question what God is doing in our lives right now. It is all about walking through the fog, toward his voice, and finding we've been supported by grace all along.

What about you? Church or no church? Why?

Sunday

Did you wonder where I was? I was in the wind, and it was good.

God tells me wonderful things when I move away from what's comfortable, familiar and distracting. Somewhere between home and Grand Isle, He spoke to me.

I am the church. You are the church. It's not a building. I know, I know. We've all heard this. Sometimes, it takes a while to get down on the inside of us.

No wait, there's more. He reminded me that I am the church at home, and in the grocery store, and on the road. I am the dwelling place of the Most High God, no matter where I am. So, unless I had an out of body experience Sunday morning, I didn't actually miss church.

I did miss the fellowship. I missed seeing the friendly faces and soaking up the worship. I didn't miss a great conversation with my husband about how God operates in our lives. I didn't miss taking care of my sick son.

I still struggle with this. I feel like I've done something wrong when I don't go. At the same time, I've never felt more discontented with the modern church than I have in the last couple of years. A big part of that is what is happening in me. A big part of it is what's happening in the church as a whole.

In His way, God was reassuring me that I am still His child, in church or in the wind. He made me think, made me meditate on His Word and made me laugh. That's a pretty good time. What I know, deep down in my heart, is that I don't need religion. I don't need a list of rules to dictate my behavior. I don't need more teaching on prosperity, faith or healing.

What I need, is God. In the morning, at noon, in the evening and in the dead of night. More than I need to see my husband or hear my children's laughter. More than I need to write, to clean or to give someone well-meaning advice. I need the relationship that draws me so close to Him that I smell of Him, take on His mannerisms, speak as though He's in the room.

Church is within me - the observances of worship and learning, they dwell with me every moment of every day. All that I am missing is the fellowship of believers. So, I'll see you in church, but not religiously. I'd rather share a meal and little bit of life with you, and know that God in me was happy to see God in you.

What is church to you?

Is This My Ministry?

Is This My Ministry? 

When you're elbow deep in dirty dishes, or nose deep in smelly laundry, God's purpose for your life is probably the most elusive of concepts. It is so hard to see the eternal impact of what you are doing in that moment. These are the times when the enemy usually succeeds in discouraging us. We give in to the sense of hopelessness, loss of direction and we may even wind up wading in a pool of self-pity--a substance far smellier than your son's gym clothes!

The problem we have with doing housework is that it is so daily. It is a never-ending stream of tasks with no real feeling of having attained a goal. Even when you get it all done today, it will still have to be done tomorrow. It is discouraging and frustrating and for most of us, not even slightly fulfilling.

To overcome this, we will have to make our minds about something. We have to realize that there is genuine value in seeing our home as our first ministry. It doesn't have to be our only ministry, but it needs to be first. When we list our priorities, our head, our accumulated knowledge tells us that we should have them in this order: God, Family, Country (or something like that).

I could go on and on about how putting God first will reap tremendous benefits in your life. I'm pretty sure that you know that in your heads. Walking it out - now that's a different story. So let's try a back door approach. Remind yourself, each time you tackle one of those tedious chores, that this is the most important job I have to do today, because it's just me and God. Take the opportunity, while your brain doesn't have to be engaged in high gear while your hands are busy, to talk to God - and listen. Sing praises, meditate on  a scripture, make mental lists of things you're grateful for. All the things that you can do to point your heart in the direction of loving God.

You will reap two rewards. One, the chores will be done, two, you'll find yourself closer to God in so many ways. What is happening is you are walking out this scripture: "Come to Me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. All of you, take up My yoke and learn from Me, because I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for yourselves. For My yoke is easy and My burden light." Matt. 11:28-30 (Holman CSB).

You didn't avoid the work - that's not the rest Jesus promises us. He says take up His yoke and learn from Him. Taking up the yoke and learning are both active processes. Jesus is not promising us lack of work, but accomplishment without burnout. There is supernatural power available to us to accomplish all that we must do, without risk of burnout, through this simple concept. Perhaps you've heard it referred to as walking in the Spirit. While that sounds highly spiritual and enlightened, what it really means is that you are in such close relationship with Christ that your daily activities become weightless, the burden of them is lifted because you are supernaturally empowered to accomplish them, and you do not suffer burnout.

Yet another blessing in all of this is the change in attitude and it's effect in your home. When you find yourself doing the chores joyfully, because in His presence, there is fullness of joy, it affects the people around you. Strife is no longer plaguing your household. A home full of joy is a place where your family wants to be, and your relationships will be enriched.

This is not some pie-in-the-sky, ultra-spiritual concept. 1 Thess. 5:16-22 tells us "Rejoice always! Pray constantly. Give thanks in everything, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. Don't stifle the Spirit. Don't despise prophecies, but test all things. Hold on to what is good. Stay away from every form of evil." (Holman CSB) This is worship. This is what it is to dwell daily in the presence of God. To make ourselves a living tabernacle, a dwelling place for the Most High God. It is a mighty undertaking that Jesus says He will make effortless for us, if we will just come to Him.

I urge you to try this. The next time you are facing a dreaded household chore - put on some praise music, or recite your favorite Bible verse, or just talk to God like He's standing right there next to you at the sink. He longs to lift us up, but He can only do that when we ourselves are humble. There nothing more humble that being on your knees scrubbing a toilet and giving thanks to God for having a pot to….well, you get my drift.

Try

The Word in Practical Application

I've tried several times to put up a new post here, but it just wasn't working out. I wrote this wonderful, long word study on sanctification, and it wouldn't copy and paste into the blog.  Phooey.

I think back to all the times in my life when something just seemed too hard, too frustrating, too...blocked, to be worth it. In those times, I learned to step back and look at what I was trying to do.  It was the try part that was getting me into trouble, I've discovered.  When I 'try' to do something for the Lord, it's usually driven by a desire for some type of recognition.

When we try, work, or do for the kingdom, it is rarely with the right intention. God judges all of our actions on the condition of the heart behind those actions. More and more, I'm finding that what I do matters so little in the face of who I am. Living in the Holy Spirit, we have the opportunity to simply function, and be blessed. Too often, we strive toward some goal, as though we are working our way into the kingdom. Yet our most impactful actions are those that come out of a natural Christ-like response to someone in need. We're always surprised to see how easy it was, and how good it felt, just doing the right thing.

I have not arrived, in fact, I hope you won't hold your breath waiting for me to let you know when I have - I don't want you beating me to heaven! But I'm learning this - God is our foundation in Righteousness; Jesus is our application in Peace; the Holy Spirit is our rest in Joy. There is a pattern here that I am studying with my Dad. When something (in scripture) comes in threes, it has a correlation to the trinity, God the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit = Righteousness, Peace and Joy.  When we go from one to the other, we are building on a foundation, not moving out of one, into another.

What I'm aiming for, then, is to build a foundation in God's righteousness. Then to apply it in peace, as Jesus did. Finally, when the righteousness and peace are in place, we find ourselves dwelling, operating and resting in the Holy Spirit, a place of pure joy.

So, where do you see yourself in this process?

Like Gold

Job 23:10 "For He knoweth the way that I take: When He hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold."

It's hard not to imagine ourselves as gold - shiny and expensive.  It's what we truly desire, for the most part.  But I think that there is far more that we could be looking forward to, if we embrace the fullest meaning of this word.  To be as gold, malleable and precious and rare, is the greater treasure.  There is such a difference between being expensive and being precious.  Gold is both expensive, and precious.  It is a thing that is difficult to attain, yet until it is crafted by a master's hands, it is nothing but a rock.

If we allow ourselves to be tried, to go through rather than avoid, the trials of life, then we come out as a work of art.  The beauty of gold is that it can be reshaped, repurposed, over and over again.  God is the ultimate recycler.  He never throws away a broken soul.  No matter what you go through, you can be used by God to bring glory and honor to His name.  More treasured is the vessel fit for daily use than the one so fragile that it must only be brought out for special occasions.

New Vision

It is hard to reconcile who I am now with who I have been.  Not without purpose, but most certainly without aim.  In striving for the rest spoken of in Hebrews ("Let us therefore fear, lest, a promise being left us of entering into his rest, any of you should seem to come short of it." Heb. 4:1), I wonder if I have left the path to wander in a wilderness.

I might say that I am discontent, and yet, what I wish for, what I desire, I am willing to patiently work toward.  The result of what I hope to attain will itself be hard work, and I both look forward to it, and dread the beginning of it, when I am least able to do it comfortably.

 It is in seeking my comfort that I feel I have somehow come short of something tangible.  I don't put myself out much for others anymore.  It is a strange flip, from the me that was ever a people-pleaser.  I say no to doing things outside of the home, but I fill my time with the things that I wish to do, and have lost all sense of purpose and perhaps even passion in doing so.

In rambling on, perhaps I have touched a place where you are.  If I have, don't lose hope - we are not all aimlessly wandering this life, treading water as it were, until the next life comes upon us.  No, we have a daily impact on those around us, even if they are only our immediate family.  So, if I am going to strive, it will be toward relationship with Jesus, and in some small way give that as a gift to my family, my husband and my sons, and trust that in this, God will bless them, as He has indeed blessed me.

I cannot say that I am not blessed.  I have such abundance in my life that I am quite spoiled.  There are hardships to be sure, but they are spiritual, emotional - not physical.  They are things that truly matter, and they are battles worth winning.  To him that overcomes, the promise reads, by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of our testimony.  The blood is applied, I walk daily in God's grace and forgiveness.  What, then, is my testimony...

I Quit Church

Several months ago, I stopped attending church. For people who know me, they find that surprising, even shocking. I've talked to my husband about it, to my parents, to a few close friends. I explored some of the feelings that I had, excuses, if you will, for not being happy, or comfortable.

There always seems to be this yawning divide between the small church and the large church. I grew up in small churches. They seemed stagnant, stuck in a rut of self-absorption, even though I could see that as individuals, members were growing, maturing in their Christian walk. It was good, but never good enough.

Lately, I've only been in large churches. Places where I felt lost in the crowd, unnoticed, unneeded, totally out of place. When I stepped out into any type of ministry, it always felt like a square peg-round hole kind of fit. That kind of functionality in a corporate environment lead to discontent, and eventually to burnout.

In my most recent fellowship, it seemed that the leadership formed a sort of glass bubble. I could see them, perhaps speak to them, but never get close, never form a relationship. Involved as I was in a prayer group, I could see that it was fringe element - recognized by the leadership, but not necessarily important to them.

I wondered if it was my pride that made me discontented, that made me resent not being recognized for my talents, gifts or calling. I have never had to strive for anything - hold fast, yes, work hard at what I was doing, certainly, but never did I have to strive for the things that God had for me. I felt comfortable allowing it to happen, all in God's time. I cannot make something happen if it is not His will, and I would be mortified to put such effort forth, to force an event or position that was not of His plan and purpose. So, I wait, and when a task is before me, I do it. I believe that I am open to his leading, that the Holy Spirit has an open connection with me, and I am prepared for whatever task He may ask of me.

No, I am, I realize, right where I need to be - and yes, forsaking the assembly goes against everything I believe, but right now, my family needs me. And soon, I will find the fellowship that God intends, and I believe that once there, I won't feel that sense of invisibility or uselessness. I will fulfill my destiny, just as I am now, without struggle, without questioning, because I will set my hand to the task before me, and not look back.

Masks

Here in Southern Louisiana, we are in the thoes of the Mardi Gras season. Since I have been here (over four years now), I have heard the widely differing views held by Christians on whether we should be in any way involved in this holiday.

From a fundamentalist point of view, the holiday originated in the Catholic church, and was a perverted incarnation of Christian observances, as are many Catholic traditions. It is a sad fact, that so many in this region must by now recognize, that religion has far more influence on our lives than relationship does.

I'm not anti-Mardi Gras. I am anti-Fat Tuesday, Bourbon Street booze fest. I am anti-loud rap music with offensive lyrics. I am emphatically anti-greed induced frenzy, which is the reason I hate Halloween, as well.

But that's not what I meant to blog about today. If you will indulge me this, head over to my other blog to read "What's Behind the Mask?" at http://designsbyjolea.blogspot.com/

Thanks.

Deeply Philosophical

Pondering the question "What Am I Here For?" I know that I should be reaching out to my fellow man. But I find that I am deeply distrustful of people now. I was always an outcast, and now, I suppose as a personal armor of sorts, I don't bother to care. Rather, I hide behind a mask of arrogance and disdain - people can't possible WANT me to care. Beneath all of that, there is this little girl asking "will you be my friend?" She was always too shy, though, and so friends, true friends, are few and far between. Someone once said, "Shyness is just fear in disguise." So true.

Because there is this need to make my life worth something, to truly matter, I am quite discontented right now. I have not seen that I have any impact on anyone. Yet, I am sitting here in my home office, between two hard-working young men that have already become so much more than I could ever have hoped. And I have to remind myself, for this moment, this is what I'm here for - for them. Whatever I learn by teaching them, whatever experiences I go through now, I will someday be able to turn into encouragement for someone else.

So, today, I will do those tasks that are set before me, and I will not complain. Because someday, I am sure, I will look back and long for these days.

Battlegrounds

Where is the battle against deception fought?

This question pulled at my attention during a corporate intercessory prayer session. You should probably know that I am being pushed, pulled and rolled through an examination of many of my deeply held beliefs. Here's why:

"Now the Spirit expressly says that in latter times some will depart from the faith, giving heed to deceiving spirits and doctrines of demons,
speaking hypocrisy, having their own conscience seared with a hot iron,
forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from foods which God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and know the truth.
For every creature of God is good, and nothing is to be refused if it is received with thanksgiving;
for it is sanctified by the word of God and prayer.
If you instruct the brethren in these things, you will be a good minister of Jesus Christ, nourished in the words of faith and of the good doctrine which you have carefully followed.
But reject profane and old wives' fables, and exercise yourself toward godliness."
1 Timothy 4:1-7 NKJV

If you have been a Christian for a long time, as I have, you will undoubtedly have picked up doctrines that are in error. If you have been a Christian for a short time, and are hungrily seeking wisdom and instruction, you are destined to find wrong beliefs mixed in with the right ones.

No one wants to believe that they are responsible for deceiving another believer. The ugly truth is that we do it out of ignorance, and laziness. The battle against deception does not take place in some obscure spiritual realm relegated to prayer warriors and intercessors. It takes place in the realm of self-discipline and commitment to study the Word for ourselves.

Unless we study the scriptures for ourselves, in such a way that we remain open to the truth through the Holy Spirit, we risk being deceived. The price of that deception in our own lives, in truth, may not be so high. The greater price is paid when that deception is passed on to another person, believer or non-believer, and that price is that they may miss the blessing God has for them through unbelief or misplaced expectations.

This is a serious issue, if you look at it in Paul's writings. Following his list of expectations for a bishop, or one in church leadership, he writes, "holding fast the faithful word as he has been taught, that he may be able, by sound doctrine, both to exhort and convict those who contradict. For there are many insubordinate, both idle talkers and deceivers, especially those of the circumcision, whose mouths must be stopped, who subvert whole households, teaching things which they ought not, for the sake of dishonest gain." Titus 1:9-11 NKJV
There appears to be two types of deceivers - the idle talkers, and the ones who claim to be Christians but teach wrong doctrines for selfish reasons. Either way, Paul says, "Therefore rebuke them sharply, that they may be sound in faith, not giving heed to Jewish fables and commandments of men who turn from the truth." Titus 1:13-14 NKJV.

There is a call for strong correction in the body. "Now I urge you, brethren, note those who cause divisions and offenses, contrary to the doctrine which you learned, and avoid them. For those who are such do not serve our Lord Jesus Christ, but their own belly, and by smooth words and flattering speech deceive the hearts of the simple." Romans 16:17-18 NKJV

My point is not to encourage you to go looking for error in others. The scriptures illustrate how serious an issue deception is, but my original question was how do we combat such deception. The first, and most important, issue is in preparing ourselves. The battle against deception is fought through self-discipline and knowledge of the Word of God, and not simply by praying against it. "My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge." Hosea 4:6a

You might be asking the question, "Where do I start?" I hate to present an issue that would convict someone's heart, and fail to give them the tools to do something about it. There are no shortcuts, but studying the Word is like a snowball - once you get started, you'll pick up a whole lot more than you expect. I recommend starting with the Beattitudes in Matthew 5:3-11. I believe that if you want scripture to stick with you, write it down, and meditate on it. It's not nearly as complicated as it sounds, either. The process of writing the words will help 'stick' them in your brain. And if you have them handy, you'll think about what they mean to you, and how to apply them to your life.

"Be glad and rejoice, because your reward is great in heaven." Matt. 5:12

Walk in Wisdom

"Walk in wisdom toward those who are outside, redeeming the time." Colossians 4:5

I have meditated on this scripture all day, and it just keeps amazing me. If we apply this to every situation that comes up, think of how we could influence the world. You see, if we apply this scripture, then we are going to seek knowledge to know how to treat all people. If you were to ask the Holy Spirit for wisdom each time you encounter an unbeliever, you would be unleashing the power of the Will of GOD in your life AND in theirs!!! Incredible. To realize that if we were to treat each and every person on earth as though they are precious to our Lord, and they are, then we could see true redemption happening in society around us!

Truly, if we apply God's wisdom, then He promises to redeem that time. What does that mean, exactly? To redeem a time, it has to have been lost or wasted - right? So, if by this specific action, we buy back the time, what does that mean to us? I believe it means that we can buy back this generation. We can turn around events and troubles for our nation. We can even see people that have turned away, come back into relationship with Christ.

This is a big impact! Not because we are changing the world, but because we are releasing a promise of God upon the world.

So what is walking in wisdom to those who are outside? It is treating others as Jesus would have treated them. It's not WWJD - it's Who Would Jesus Love? I'm not talking about a mushy, permisive, all-grace, kind of love, either.

Think of all the words that you have spoken to strangers today. Were any of them measured by the wisdom of God, and spoken in grace, peace, mercy and truth? That is walking in wisdom. That is making right choices in our words and deeds, and that is buying back lost time for the salvation of so many.

What would it cost you to do this thing? To study God's Word. To grow in your relationship with Him. To desire to see people as God sees them, so that your words and your actions are quite naturally those of a Godly person.

Think about this - as a person studies a martial art, they repeat the movements over and over again, so that it becomes instinct to block a punch. The same would be said of the concert pianist - they practice over and over again, so that their fingers move without the brain laboring to send each finger it's instructions. Apply this kind of attention to your relationship with Christ, so that each action, and each word, has already been rehearsed and practices, and flows from your lips in words of affirmation, words of encouragement, words of promise, and words of life!

Let us walk in wisdom, and redeem this time!

Approval Seekers

Well, I put it off all day, but this one won't let me go. That and Obedience is Not Conditional. Oh, neither one is comfortable. Have you ever heard the saying "To teach is to learn twice."? Yeah, I have to live it to be able to put it here.

So, who are approval seekers. Well, believe it or not, all of us are. We all have a tendency to seek the approval of others. It's the 'I'm in the IN crowd' at school, the 'I'm the go-to guy at work', the 'I'll do anything for attention' on the playground. It seems to be the primary motivation in so many people's lives. On the one hand, it is the positive aspect of being careful of our behavior, so that people don't look down on us. On the other hand, it has it's roots in idolatry and pride. Oh, nasty, nasty. I told you I put this off all day!!!

Let's look at the behaviors associated with approval seeking. First, you fashion your behavior in such a way that the target audience will give you something in return. Examples: I did a good job cleaning the house, so my husband should take me out to dinner; or I volunteered at the church so the Pastor will publicly thank me for my service; or I bought you a gift, so I'm your very best friend and have unlimited access to you.

Well, like all behavior issues we develop in life, this is an emotional issue that can quickly get out of balance. First of all, the absolute, most important thing to remember, is that God is your only judge! Permanently attach in your mind the thought that God loves you enough to sacrifice His own Son for you. That lightens the load of that judgment thing.

Now, remember that God created man in His own image - "Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness;" Gen 1:26. (NKJV) This means that the emotions within us were created in us for a purpose. It is only when they are misdirected, or uncontrolled, that they become a destructive force in our lives. When we allow our emotions to control us, they become our master, we are subservient to them. This means that the true Lord and Master of our lives has been supplanted. This is how approval seeking becomes bad for us.

You see, the Word admonishes us: "And [whatever] you do in word or deed, [do] all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him." Col 3:7 (NKJV) Also, "Let all [that] you [do] be done with love." 1 Cor 16:14 (NKJV) In both cases, the writer was speaking of how we behave toward one another. Without overdoing it here, I want to impress on you that this is a matter of motive of the heart. Out of a pure heart, comes pure motives. Pure motives are driven by true love, the kind of love that we can only learn at the heart of the Father.

The opposite of true love is love of self, which drives selfish motives. These are the motives that cause us to seek the approval of a person here on earth. We virtually prostitute ourselves for the sake of a feeling. It is addictive and consuming. It is also carefully fostered and encouraged in this culture. Give to get, work to earn, please to be pleased. I am at once fascinated and confounded by the upside-down kingdom of God. All the principles that equal success in God are absolutely backwards from what we are learning from our environment today. God asks us to give out of a pure heart, to work as though we do it only for Him, and to please Him in our worship and our praise.

What the world does not understand is that there is a God-sized hole in our soul, and only He can fit it perfectly. You can try to substitute money, success, drugs, sex, youth and all manner of indulgences. None of them work. Not to be discouraging, but at the moment of salvation, all of those substitutes are not suddenly ripped from you leaving perfect space for God, either. It takes time, it takes commitment, it takes a desire to see real change, to go after God hard enough and long enough to chip all those things away, and let God totally fill you with His Spirit.

It's not all doom and gloom. All the striving that you have done to be a better person, is done in you, through submission to the Lord. As He fills you more and more, you find more joy, more peace, more righteousness in you. The result is a blessed life, no matter where you are, who you are with or how much money you have. I don't for one second belief that the Creator of the Universe has it in His plan for us to struggle to put food on the table, a roof over our heads, and clothes on our backs. As long are our focus is on Him, those things will come. When our focus is on getting what we think we need from the people around us, we live in perpetual dissappointment and discouragement.

It is all a matter of perspective. "I will lift up my eyes to the hills-- From whence comes my help? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth. He will not allow your foot to be moved; He who keeps you will not slumber." Psalm 121:1-3 (NKJV)

If you have any questions or comments, I encourage you to email me or leave a comment. Also, if you are looking for an online bible study resource, try www.blueletterbible.org.

Be Blessed in the Lord!

Generation of Martyrs

Late in the night, words flowed through my mind like water. It was one of those times when sleep would not come and I simply lay quiet and open to the Lord. What He had to say would have been absolutely frightening if I did not have absolute faith in my God and Lord.

I have two young sons, ages eight and eleven. I have long recognized that they are warriors. It was a simple understanding inside of me from the very beginning. We gave them names that we hope and believe will carry tremendous blessings in their lives. But this was something I had not considered.

That my sons, even as trained warriors, would eventually be faced with this choice: deny God or die, that makes this Momma's heart cry out. This was what the Lord was saying to me, even as he gave me other specific instructions, not meant to be discussed here. The point is, what am I doing today to prepare them for this future?

I think of King David, who fasted and prayed while his newborn son was still alive, but rose, cleaned up and ate when the child died. Nathan, his most trusted adviser, questioned David. The King replied, ""While the child was alive, I fasted and wept; for I said, 'Who can tell [whether] the LORD will be gracious to me, that the child may live?" 2 Sam. 12:22.

Should I be in fasting and prayer for them, that they may not suffer such a fate? With such advance warning, perhaps I could prevent it - just as David could have chosen not to commit adultery and murder, which lead to the child's death. Or perhaps, as I suspect, this is direction from the Lord to protect my children's character. I have always known that I was chosen to be these children's mother, teacher, protector and example. I do not question these things - because I know that God is in control. There are several scriptures on predestination that I may share at a later time. Suffice it to say that God knows who I am, who my sons are, and what we will become.

So, in chosing to homeschool, I have the opportunity and the great responsibility to train my sons in the character issues that will allow them to stand firm in the face of persecution. The whole world is groaning in preparation of the coming of our King. You cannot ignore the evidence around us. The time is near - I don't know if I will see it, or even my sons. In the scope of eternity, each of our generations are merely a speck on the timeline of creation. What I do know is that Christian freedoms are threatened on every side. Are my sons prepared to stand in the face of it?

When they were born, I stated this purpose in parenting - I am raising my sons to be good hasbands. It is a good goal, but I realize now that it should be secondary to this purpose - I must raise my sons to be men of God. To be strong in purpose, yet humble. To be courageous in battle, yet compassionate. To be firm in knowledge, yet teachable. To, in all things, be submitted to Christ and the Holy Spirit. If I can give them this, then I will be a success.

Give me the eyes of Christ

It has long been my prayer to see people through Christ's eyes. That is such an all-encompassing request. There is really no way to measure my success. What I find, when I see people through His eyes, is that I see pain behind the anger, I see hurt behind the attack, and I see the need for grace more than ever before.

I'm sure that some will find this candid example offensive - but each time a person of color walks down the sidewalk in front of my house, I have a decision to make. I decide whether to think uncharitable thoughts or to consider their plight. As a whole, I find the black race an enigma. I never considered myself racist. But I now see how we treat one another differently, not because of color, but because of behavior. It is less a color difference, and more a culture difference. I can, by recognizing this, now consider with compassion why a mother with four young children is walking down the street in the heat of the summer. Rather than seeing her as a victim of poverty, or as a nuisance when they loudly make their way down the sidewalk, I see her as a fellow traveler with a destiny as great as my own.

It makes me want to be a public speaker, a preacher or evangelist. I want to have a voice to announce to these people that there is hope, there is something greater to live for. I would love to rush out there and ask her if she knows Jesus. Fear keeps me from actually doing that - although I have had the temerity to ask one of the them not to walk on my lawn! Such a hypocrite.

Yes, I tend to judge myself harshly as well. It serves to demonstrate in a very real way that God's ways are not our ways. Where I would give judgement, He gives forgiveness. Where I would give criticism, He gives comfort. Where I would give advice, He gives grace. I am learning that I can only help someone when I am subject to and a student of the same mercy and grace they require. To walk a mile...

It's a start

The beginning of a journey...

I have so much rolling around in my head, thoughts that would probably really help someone, ideas that could be put to use - where's it gonna go? Well, here is as good a place as any. Truly, if I can put in writing some of the awesome things that God has shown me, that will be a blessing.

Tonight, I am listening to my youngest son laying in bed twisting balloons into animals. Yeah, it's an hour past his bedtime. And eventually that squeaky noise will drive me up the wall. Right now, though, I am thinking how very much he is like me. Whatever interests him, he goes for all out - no holds barred, both feet and in over his head. He may be bored with it tomorrow, but right now, he's content. That's as much as any parent can hope for in an eight year old boy!

I wrote several short quotes or thoughts in various other places - facebook, namely. I will be fleshing those out and putting some feet to them. I hate to see a great idea presented without the tools to put it to work. If we cannot improve some part of our lives with what we're given, then we may very well be throwing gifts back in God's face.