Sunday

Did you wonder where I was? I was in the wind, and it was good.

God tells me wonderful things when I move away from what's comfortable, familiar and distracting. Somewhere between home and Grand Isle, He spoke to me.

I am the church. You are the church. It's not a building. I know, I know. We've all heard this. Sometimes, it takes a while to get down on the inside of us.

No wait, there's more. He reminded me that I am the church at home, and in the grocery store, and on the road. I am the dwelling place of the Most High God, no matter where I am. So, unless I had an out of body experience Sunday morning, I didn't actually miss church.

I did miss the fellowship. I missed seeing the friendly faces and soaking up the worship. I didn't miss a great conversation with my husband about how God operates in our lives. I didn't miss taking care of my sick son.

I still struggle with this. I feel like I've done something wrong when I don't go. At the same time, I've never felt more discontented with the modern church than I have in the last couple of years. A big part of that is what is happening in me. A big part of it is what's happening in the church as a whole.

In His way, God was reassuring me that I am still His child, in church or in the wind. He made me think, made me meditate on His Word and made me laugh. That's a pretty good time. What I know, deep down in my heart, is that I don't need religion. I don't need a list of rules to dictate my behavior. I don't need more teaching on prosperity, faith or healing.

What I need, is God. In the morning, at noon, in the evening and in the dead of night. More than I need to see my husband or hear my children's laughter. More than I need to write, to clean or to give someone well-meaning advice. I need the relationship that draws me so close to Him that I smell of Him, take on His mannerisms, speak as though He's in the room.

Church is within me - the observances of worship and learning, they dwell with me every moment of every day. All that I am missing is the fellowship of believers. So, I'll see you in church, but not religiously. I'd rather share a meal and little bit of life with you, and know that God in me was happy to see God in you.

What is church to you?

Is This My Ministry?

Is This My Ministry? 

When you're elbow deep in dirty dishes, or nose deep in smelly laundry, God's purpose for your life is probably the most elusive of concepts. It is so hard to see the eternal impact of what you are doing in that moment. These are the times when the enemy usually succeeds in discouraging us. We give in to the sense of hopelessness, loss of direction and we may even wind up wading in a pool of self-pity--a substance far smellier than your son's gym clothes!

The problem we have with doing housework is that it is so daily. It is a never-ending stream of tasks with no real feeling of having attained a goal. Even when you get it all done today, it will still have to be done tomorrow. It is discouraging and frustrating and for most of us, not even slightly fulfilling.

To overcome this, we will have to make our minds about something. We have to realize that there is genuine value in seeing our home as our first ministry. It doesn't have to be our only ministry, but it needs to be first. When we list our priorities, our head, our accumulated knowledge tells us that we should have them in this order: God, Family, Country (or something like that).

I could go on and on about how putting God first will reap tremendous benefits in your life. I'm pretty sure that you know that in your heads. Walking it out - now that's a different story. So let's try a back door approach. Remind yourself, each time you tackle one of those tedious chores, that this is the most important job I have to do today, because it's just me and God. Take the opportunity, while your brain doesn't have to be engaged in high gear while your hands are busy, to talk to God - and listen. Sing praises, meditate on  a scripture, make mental lists of things you're grateful for. All the things that you can do to point your heart in the direction of loving God.

You will reap two rewards. One, the chores will be done, two, you'll find yourself closer to God in so many ways. What is happening is you are walking out this scripture: "Come to Me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. All of you, take up My yoke and learn from Me, because I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for yourselves. For My yoke is easy and My burden light." Matt. 11:28-30 (Holman CSB).

You didn't avoid the work - that's not the rest Jesus promises us. He says take up His yoke and learn from Him. Taking up the yoke and learning are both active processes. Jesus is not promising us lack of work, but accomplishment without burnout. There is supernatural power available to us to accomplish all that we must do, without risk of burnout, through this simple concept. Perhaps you've heard it referred to as walking in the Spirit. While that sounds highly spiritual and enlightened, what it really means is that you are in such close relationship with Christ that your daily activities become weightless, the burden of them is lifted because you are supernaturally empowered to accomplish them, and you do not suffer burnout.

Yet another blessing in all of this is the change in attitude and it's effect in your home. When you find yourself doing the chores joyfully, because in His presence, there is fullness of joy, it affects the people around you. Strife is no longer plaguing your household. A home full of joy is a place where your family wants to be, and your relationships will be enriched.

This is not some pie-in-the-sky, ultra-spiritual concept. 1 Thess. 5:16-22 tells us "Rejoice always! Pray constantly. Give thanks in everything, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. Don't stifle the Spirit. Don't despise prophecies, but test all things. Hold on to what is good. Stay away from every form of evil." (Holman CSB) This is worship. This is what it is to dwell daily in the presence of God. To make ourselves a living tabernacle, a dwelling place for the Most High God. It is a mighty undertaking that Jesus says He will make effortless for us, if we will just come to Him.

I urge you to try this. The next time you are facing a dreaded household chore - put on some praise music, or recite your favorite Bible verse, or just talk to God like He's standing right there next to you at the sink. He longs to lift us up, but He can only do that when we ourselves are humble. There nothing more humble that being on your knees scrubbing a toilet and giving thanks to God for having a pot to….well, you get my drift.

I Quit Church

Several months ago, I stopped attending church. For people who know me, they find that surprising, even shocking. I've talked to my husband about it, to my parents, to a few close friends. I explored some of the feelings that I had, excuses, if you will, for not being happy, or comfortable.

There always seems to be this yawning divide between the small church and the large church. I grew up in small churches. They seemed stagnant, stuck in a rut of self-absorption, even though I could see that as individuals, members were growing, maturing in their Christian walk. It was good, but never good enough.

Lately, I've only been in large churches. Places where I felt lost in the crowd, unnoticed, unneeded, totally out of place. When I stepped out into any type of ministry, it always felt like a square peg-round hole kind of fit. That kind of functionality in a corporate environment lead to discontent, and eventually to burnout.

In my most recent fellowship, it seemed that the leadership formed a sort of glass bubble. I could see them, perhaps speak to them, but never get close, never form a relationship. Involved as I was in a prayer group, I could see that it was fringe element - recognized by the leadership, but not necessarily important to them.

I wondered if it was my pride that made me discontented, that made me resent not being recognized for my talents, gifts or calling. I have never had to strive for anything - hold fast, yes, work hard at what I was doing, certainly, but never did I have to strive for the things that God had for me. I felt comfortable allowing it to happen, all in God's time. I cannot make something happen if it is not His will, and I would be mortified to put such effort forth, to force an event or position that was not of His plan and purpose. So, I wait, and when a task is before me, I do it. I believe that I am open to his leading, that the Holy Spirit has an open connection with me, and I am prepared for whatever task He may ask of me.

No, I am, I realize, right where I need to be - and yes, forsaking the assembly goes against everything I believe, but right now, my family needs me. And soon, I will find the fellowship that God intends, and I believe that once there, I won't feel that sense of invisibility or uselessness. I will fulfill my destiny, just as I am now, without struggle, without questioning, because I will set my hand to the task before me, and not look back.