Sunday II

Another week we didn't go to church. I've decided that this will be a good way to journal about this experience. Why might it be such a big deal to me, personally? How does it impact my family?

First of all, you should know this about me. I was raised in church. My mother was saved when I was a baby, my father accepted Christ during my Dedication ceremony. Other than a few times in our lives when my parents weren't active members somewhere, I spent my entire life in this habit. We went Sunday morning and evening, Wednesday evenings, and occasional weekly Bible studies.

We were generally members of Pentecostal churches, some more radical than others. We tended to go where they were teaching-heavy. As a teenager, I sat under a born-again Jewish charismatic bible scholar. As newlyweds, my husband and I sat under an Old Testament scholar.

To say I have been steeped in Bible teaching would be an understatement. I've been basted, broiled, baked, slow-cooked, hard-boiled and steamed in it. Yet here I am. Not in church. It feels strange, as if I am slipping through some crack in the religious landscape, to discover another foreign world.

I am discovering a simple joy in spending my days and nights considering my Lord. Who is He to me? What is He to me? In being relieved of the pressure to conform to some society's concept of the proper Christian, I have been freed to get to know God, my heavenly Father, Jesus, my Savior and joint-heir in the Kingdom, and the Holy Spirit, my constant all-knowing companion.

This is not where I will be quoting scripture to convince myself of my right or wrong. I know them, and that they apply. It is never sufficient to just know any part of God's Word. Without the wisdom to apply it to my life, it is fruitless. So, in this time of not being in church, we are sitting down to the dining room table each Sunday morning to read and discuss Proverbs. If it's wisdom we need, that's a great place to start.

Eventually, I trust that God will lead us to the right place of fellowship with other believers. In the meantime, I'm going to practice this concept of being the church, where ever I am. Perhaps my sons will come to know God in a more personal, un-religiously-cluttered way through this experience. I do not question what God is doing in our lives right now. It is all about walking through the fog, toward his voice, and finding we've been supported by grace all along.

What about you? Church or no church? Why?