Well, I put it off all day, but this one won't let me go. That and Obedience is Not Conditional. Oh, neither one is comfortable. Have you ever heard the saying "To teach is to learn twice."? Yeah, I have to live it to be able to put it here.
So, who are approval seekers. Well, believe it or not, all of us are. We all have a tendency to seek the approval of others. It's the 'I'm in the IN crowd' at school, the 'I'm the go-to guy at work', the 'I'll do anything for attention' on the playground. It seems to be the primary motivation in so many people's lives. On the one hand, it is the positive aspect of being careful of our behavior, so that people don't look down on us. On the other hand, it has it's roots in idolatry and pride. Oh, nasty, nasty. I told you I put this off all day!!!
Let's look at the behaviors associated with approval seeking. First, you fashion your behavior in such a way that the target audience will give you something in return. Examples: I did a good job cleaning the house, so my husband should take me out to dinner; or I volunteered at the church so the Pastor will publicly thank me for my service; or I bought you a gift, so I'm your very best friend and have unlimited access to you.
Well, like all behavior issues we develop in life, this is an emotional issue that can quickly get out of balance. First of all, the absolute, most important thing to remember, is that God is your only judge! Permanently attach in your mind the thought that God loves you enough to sacrifice His own Son for you. That lightens the load of that judgment thing.
Now, remember that God created man in His own image - "Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness;" Gen 1:26. (NKJV) This means that the emotions within us were created in us for a purpose. It is only when they are misdirected, or uncontrolled, that they become a destructive force in our lives. When we allow our emotions to control us, they become our master, we are subservient to them. This means that the true Lord and Master of our lives has been supplanted. This is how approval seeking becomes bad for us.
You see, the Word admonishes us: "And [whatever] you do in word or deed, [do] all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him." Col 3:7 (NKJV) Also, "Let all [that] you [do] be done with love." 1 Cor 16:14 (NKJV) In both cases, the writer was speaking of how we behave toward one another. Without overdoing it here, I want to impress on you that this is a matter of motive of the heart. Out of a pure heart, comes pure motives. Pure motives are driven by true love, the kind of love that we can only learn at the heart of the Father.
The opposite of true love is love of self, which drives selfish motives. These are the motives that cause us to seek the approval of a person here on earth. We virtually prostitute ourselves for the sake of a feeling. It is addictive and consuming. It is also carefully fostered and encouraged in this culture. Give to get, work to earn, please to be pleased. I am at once fascinated and confounded by the upside-down kingdom of God. All the principles that equal success in God are absolutely backwards from what we are learning from our environment today. God asks us to give out of a pure heart, to work as though we do it only for Him, and to please Him in our worship and our praise.
What the world does not understand is that there is a God-sized hole in our soul, and only He can fit it perfectly. You can try to substitute money, success, drugs, sex, youth and all manner of indulgences. None of them work. Not to be discouraging, but at the moment of salvation, all of those substitutes are not suddenly ripped from you leaving perfect space for God, either. It takes time, it takes commitment, it takes a desire to see real change, to go after God hard enough and long enough to chip all those things away, and let God totally fill you with His Spirit.
It's not all doom and gloom. All the striving that you have done to be a better person, is done in you, through submission to the Lord. As He fills you more and more, you find more joy, more peace, more righteousness in you. The result is a blessed life, no matter where you are, who you are with or how much money you have. I don't for one second belief that the Creator of the Universe has it in His plan for us to struggle to put food on the table, a roof over our heads, and clothes on our backs. As long are our focus is on Him, those things will come. When our focus is on getting what we think we need from the people around us, we live in perpetual dissappointment and discouragement.
It is all a matter of perspective. "I will lift up my eyes to the hills-- From whence comes my help? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth. He will not allow your foot to be moved; He who keeps you will not slumber." Psalm 121:1-3 (NKJV)
If you have any questions or comments, I encourage you to email me or leave a comment. Also, if you are looking for an online bible study resource, try www.blueletterbible.org.
Be Blessed in the Lord!
Friday, June 26, 2009
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Generation of Martyrs
Late in the night, words flowed through my mind like water. It was one of those times when sleep would not come and I simply lay quiet and open to the Lord. What He had to say would have been absolutely frightening if I did not have absolute faith in my God and Lord.
I have two young sons, ages eight and eleven. I have long recognized that they are warriors. It was a simple understanding inside of me from the very beginning. We gave them names that we hope and believe will carry tremendous blessings in their lives. But this was something I had not considered.
That my sons, even as trained warriors, would eventually be faced with this choice: deny God or die, that makes this Momma's heart cry out. This was what the Lord was saying to me, even as he gave me other specific instructions, not meant to be discussed here. The point is, what am I doing today to prepare them for this future?
I think of King David, who fasted and prayed while his newborn son was still alive, but rose, cleaned up and ate when the child died. Nathan, his most trusted adviser, questioned David. The King replied, ""While the child was alive, I fasted and wept; for I said, 'Who can tell [whether] the LORD will be gracious to me, that the child may live?" 2 Sam. 12:22.
Should I be in fasting and prayer for them, that they may not suffer such a fate? With such advance warning, perhaps I could prevent it - just as David could have chosen not to commit adultery and murder, which lead to the child's death. Or perhaps, as I suspect, this is direction from the Lord to protect my children's character. I have always known that I was chosen to be these children's mother, teacher, protector and example. I do not question these things - because I know that God is in control. There are several scriptures on predestination that I may share at a later time. Suffice it to say that God knows who I am, who my sons are, and what we will become.
So, in chosing to homeschool, I have the opportunity and the great responsibility to train my sons in the character issues that will allow them to stand firm in the face of persecution. The whole world is groaning in preparation of the coming of our King. You cannot ignore the evidence around us. The time is near - I don't know if I will see it, or even my sons. In the scope of eternity, each of our generations are merely a speck on the timeline of creation. What I do know is that Christian freedoms are threatened on every side. Are my sons prepared to stand in the face of it?
When they were born, I stated this purpose in parenting - I am raising my sons to be good hasbands. It is a good goal, but I realize now that it should be secondary to this purpose - I must raise my sons to be men of God. To be strong in purpose, yet humble. To be courageous in battle, yet compassionate. To be firm in knowledge, yet teachable. To, in all things, be submitted to Christ and the Holy Spirit. If I can give them this, then I will be a success.
I have two young sons, ages eight and eleven. I have long recognized that they are warriors. It was a simple understanding inside of me from the very beginning. We gave them names that we hope and believe will carry tremendous blessings in their lives. But this was something I had not considered.
That my sons, even as trained warriors, would eventually be faced with this choice: deny God or die, that makes this Momma's heart cry out. This was what the Lord was saying to me, even as he gave me other specific instructions, not meant to be discussed here. The point is, what am I doing today to prepare them for this future?
I think of King David, who fasted and prayed while his newborn son was still alive, but rose, cleaned up and ate when the child died. Nathan, his most trusted adviser, questioned David. The King replied, ""While the child was alive, I fasted and wept; for I said, 'Who can tell [whether] the LORD will be gracious to me, that the child may live?" 2 Sam. 12:22.
Should I be in fasting and prayer for them, that they may not suffer such a fate? With such advance warning, perhaps I could prevent it - just as David could have chosen not to commit adultery and murder, which lead to the child's death. Or perhaps, as I suspect, this is direction from the Lord to protect my children's character. I have always known that I was chosen to be these children's mother, teacher, protector and example. I do not question these things - because I know that God is in control. There are several scriptures on predestination that I may share at a later time. Suffice it to say that God knows who I am, who my sons are, and what we will become.
So, in chosing to homeschool, I have the opportunity and the great responsibility to train my sons in the character issues that will allow them to stand firm in the face of persecution. The whole world is groaning in preparation of the coming of our King. You cannot ignore the evidence around us. The time is near - I don't know if I will see it, or even my sons. In the scope of eternity, each of our generations are merely a speck on the timeline of creation. What I do know is that Christian freedoms are threatened on every side. Are my sons prepared to stand in the face of it?
When they were born, I stated this purpose in parenting - I am raising my sons to be good hasbands. It is a good goal, but I realize now that it should be secondary to this purpose - I must raise my sons to be men of God. To be strong in purpose, yet humble. To be courageous in battle, yet compassionate. To be firm in knowledge, yet teachable. To, in all things, be submitted to Christ and the Holy Spirit. If I can give them this, then I will be a success.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Give me the eyes of Christ
It has long been my prayer to see people through Christ's eyes. That is such an all-encompassing request. There is really no way to measure my success. What I find, when I see people through His eyes, is that I see pain behind the anger, I see hurt behind the attack, and I see the need for grace more than ever before.
I'm sure that some will find this candid example offensive - but each time a person of color walks down the sidewalk in front of my house, I have a decision to make. I decide whether to think uncharitable thoughts or to consider their plight. As a whole, I find the black race an enigma. I never considered myself racist. But I now see how we treat one another differently, not because of color, but because of behavior. It is less a color difference, and more a culture difference. I can, by recognizing this, now consider with compassion why a mother with four young children is walking down the street in the heat of the summer. Rather than seeing her as a victim of poverty, or as a nuisance when they loudly make their way down the sidewalk, I see her as a fellow traveler with a destiny as great as my own.
It makes me want to be a public speaker, a preacher or evangelist. I want to have a voice to announce to these people that there is hope, there is something greater to live for. I would love to rush out there and ask her if she knows Jesus. Fear keeps me from actually doing that - although I have had the temerity to ask one of the them not to walk on my lawn! Such a hypocrite.
Yes, I tend to judge myself harshly as well. It serves to demonstrate in a very real way that God's ways are not our ways. Where I would give judgement, He gives forgiveness. Where I would give criticism, He gives comfort. Where I would give advice, He gives grace. I am learning that I can only help someone when I am subject to and a student of the same mercy and grace they require. To walk a mile...
I'm sure that some will find this candid example offensive - but each time a person of color walks down the sidewalk in front of my house, I have a decision to make. I decide whether to think uncharitable thoughts or to consider their plight. As a whole, I find the black race an enigma. I never considered myself racist. But I now see how we treat one another differently, not because of color, but because of behavior. It is less a color difference, and more a culture difference. I can, by recognizing this, now consider with compassion why a mother with four young children is walking down the street in the heat of the summer. Rather than seeing her as a victim of poverty, or as a nuisance when they loudly make their way down the sidewalk, I see her as a fellow traveler with a destiny as great as my own.
It makes me want to be a public speaker, a preacher or evangelist. I want to have a voice to announce to these people that there is hope, there is something greater to live for. I would love to rush out there and ask her if she knows Jesus. Fear keeps me from actually doing that - although I have had the temerity to ask one of the them not to walk on my lawn! Such a hypocrite.
Yes, I tend to judge myself harshly as well. It serves to demonstrate in a very real way that God's ways are not our ways. Where I would give judgement, He gives forgiveness. Where I would give criticism, He gives comfort. Where I would give advice, He gives grace. I am learning that I can only help someone when I am subject to and a student of the same mercy and grace they require. To walk a mile...
Monday, June 22, 2009
It's a start
The beginning of a journey...
I have so much rolling around in my head, thoughts that would probably really help someone, ideas that could be put to use - where's it gonna go? Well, here is as good a place as any. Truly, if I can put in writing some of the awesome things that God has shown me, that will be a blessing.
Tonight, I am listening to my youngest son laying in bed twisting balloons into animals. Yeah, it's an hour past his bedtime. And eventually that squeaky noise will drive me up the wall. Right now, though, I am thinking how very much he is like me. Whatever interests him, he goes for all out - no holds barred, both feet and in over his head. He may be bored with it tomorrow, but right now, he's content. That's as much as any parent can hope for in an eight year old boy!
I wrote several short quotes or thoughts in various other places - facebook, namely. I will be fleshing those out and putting some feet to them. I hate to see a great idea presented without the tools to put it to work. If we cannot improve some part of our lives with what we're given, then we may very well be throwing gifts back in God's face.
I have so much rolling around in my head, thoughts that would probably really help someone, ideas that could be put to use - where's it gonna go? Well, here is as good a place as any. Truly, if I can put in writing some of the awesome things that God has shown me, that will be a blessing.
Tonight, I am listening to my youngest son laying in bed twisting balloons into animals. Yeah, it's an hour past his bedtime. And eventually that squeaky noise will drive me up the wall. Right now, though, I am thinking how very much he is like me. Whatever interests him, he goes for all out - no holds barred, both feet and in over his head. He may be bored with it tomorrow, but right now, he's content. That's as much as any parent can hope for in an eight year old boy!
I wrote several short quotes or thoughts in various other places - facebook, namely. I will be fleshing those out and putting some feet to them. I hate to see a great idea presented without the tools to put it to work. If we cannot improve some part of our lives with what we're given, then we may very well be throwing gifts back in God's face.
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